Murphy's Law in DotA

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by HHHNNNGGG, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. HHHNNNGGG

    HHHNNNGGG Well-Known Member

    It is just I was bored so I write these down there. Feel free to contribute some if you can. If it is from your experience in DotA, that should be better.
    1. Any chance-based skill will certainly proc when the enemy (who has it) hits you, or when you (when you have it) hit the last-hit. This applies to non-PRD skills. In short, it will certainly procs when you least need it (example: http://puu.sh/1Y8kI, thanks to Cynthia Crescent for his awesome .gif)
    2. In matchmaking, there is always at least a noob on your side, and a pro at the other team. Russians are still more fair and square, since every team has at least one. So next time please don’t blame Russians.
    3. When a game loses, the most feeding teammate usually scolds the rest of your team. You are always end up being the flame magnet.
    4. Necrolyte gets kills either from Scythe, Dagon, or Heartstopper Aura.
    5. When you use Reaper’s Scythe on a retreating enemy so that your carry can get the kill, you will always end up killing it.
    6. Random is the reverse of counter pick. It gives the chance for enemies to counter you, even if you are the last one to pick.
    7. In your team if there are three –random, the chance to get 3 carries is always higher than getting any better heroes. Your team can get at most one mid-tier carry. The rests are low-tier, even shit-tier.
    8. Denying yourself with Rot is always easier for enemy, but not for you.
    9. When you use Nai’x or your team has Omniknight, an additional BKB is never enough. However, if your enemy has a BKB, it is a huge problem.
    10. Your BKB always ends faster than your enemy’s.
    11. Having BKB is actually you will be stunned when BKB is on, and get nuked when BKB ends.
    12. Having MKB is actually that you still miss your attack.
    13. Supports always have better chance to get kill than carries.
    14. When pushing tower with Techies that doesn’t use Land Mines nor have damage items, the tower kill is usually for Techies. Same when there is one illusion that pushes the tower while the main hero is not there, the owner of illusion will usually get the tower kill. So, a Techies’ illusion will unlikely miss a tower kill.
    15. Land Mines are super effective in where people rarely go into.
    16. The main use of Remote Mines is to nuke enemies. It is not a trap.
    17. Early Roshan always ends up your team gets counter-picked. Enemy early Roshan always ends up that your third-tier Mid Tower is down at fifth minute.
    18. An overpowered hero is actually not overpowered.
    19. The most dangerous things are global-projectiles. Example, global Storm Bolt.
    20. You will run when you get Ruptured.
    21. Strong items are always underrated and underused.
    22. Couriers are always unavailable when you need them. When you have the chance to use them, there will be a higher chance that there is anyone who interrupts your deliver.
    23. Your team never has a free-farming time. Your enemy team does.
    24. There is nothing as misused spells. They are absolutely dangerous as they will end up killing you.
    25. If you can see your enemy, either will your enemy. If you can’t see your enemy, they still can.
    26. Enemies appear when you make a mistake.
    27. When you are warding, it will be likely that you end up seeing at least three red dots surrounding you.
    28. Never wait for Wisp to return back from Relocate. He will return with a badass.
    29. One additional ally with stun is never enough. But two enemies with stun are always too much.
    30. The most beefy hero never tanks. The most fragile one is the tank.
    31. Damage magnets in the game are enemy tanks and allied carries/supporters.
    32. Every new thing in the new version always gets nerfed at the next version.

    PS: Search Wikipedia if you don't know Murphy's Law.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2013
  2. ToHer

    ToHer Well-Known Member

    You will always face a sniper-tier pudge when playing with your slow squishy hero.
     
  3. SzotyMAG

    SzotyMAG Banned

    You will always lose if the enemy team has Puck. If in the game you have Drow, insta-lose no matter where is she
     
  4. pinkypub

    pinkypub Well-Known Member

    If you encounter someone is absolutely dreadful at the game and often blames other people for their severe incompetence, you will meet again.
     
  5. WaruAthena

    WaruAthena Well-Known Member

    Stuff that happens to me all the damn bloody time, goddamn it ergh. Will edit when I recall/experience more.

    You patiently wait for the courier to be available. At last! Unused! As your item isn't really that important, you decide to wait a few seconds in case an ally has more important items that need to be delivered ASAP, like a dagger. Your mouse hovers over the handy shortcut button for the courier to deliver your stuff...

    0.00000001 seconds before you click, an ally clicks it first leaving you to click on his stupid picture instead.

    [​IMG]

    =-=-=-

    Enemy Drow? Expect her to be extremely well farmed. Allied Drow? PREPARE FOR THE FEED.

    =-=-=-

    Enemy Pudge? Expect him to be a godsend who ganks and hooks well. Allied Pudge? stfu nob cant cnrtol lane qq more

    =-=-=-

    Your team has a jungler! An opportune time to pick a carry seeing as the other three are supports. Forced to solo hardlane against either :-

    a) Trilane.
    b) Two intelligence heroes who WILL nuke the shit out of you.
    c) Heroes that are ridiculously annoying to lane against, such as Kunkka.
    d) All of the above, plus denies like a Sniper on crack.

    =-=-=-

    Save that Laguna Blade for heroes with high health to bring them down. Oh, my, your two allies are pounding on that Centaur! What if he stomps or stampedes and turns the battle around? You target him with Laguna from afar and watch as you blast a 100 health Centaur with over 600 damage. And then your allies are like..

    [​IMG]

    =-=-=-

    You're in the mood to be praised for being skillful. So, you pick Pudge/Mirana. Watch as you fail every single one of your hooks/arrows and get flamed/reported.

    =-=-=-

    Playing Earthshaker like a boss. Proceed to fail blocking with Fissure and perfect opportunity Echo Slams before blinking because for some reason the fucking Blink Dagger wouldn't activate when you pressed the hotkey for it.

    =-=-=-

    Say you play a carry and you finally get some peace and quiet at a lane. Your teammates and the entire enemy team are slugging it out at mid. You get bitched at for not contributing. So you go mid and die fantastically. And then get flamed for being noob.

    =-=-=-

    First Blood bottom! Go! Chain the disables, you tell your allies. We'll get this right. All three of you proceed to throw your disables exactly the same time.

    [​IMG]

    =-=-=-

    Sorry, I'm afraid you're going to miss all your razes and fail Requiem.

    =-=-=-

    Use Ravage/Reverse Polarity/Black Hole. Catch a single hero. A 200 hp hero. Who promptly dies from allied Finger of Death/Laguna Blade/Storm Bolt/Impetus.

    =-=-=-

    ENEMY CLOCKWERK/INVOKER, DANCE AROUND TO AVOID ROCKET FLARE/SUN STRIKE QUICK

    wham.

    =-=-=-

    You will ALWAYS target the illusion instead of the hero.

    =-=-=-

    Attempt to Force Staff an ally to safety. End up killing him. Attempt to Force Staff an enemy into danger. End up saving him.

    =-=-=-

    Playing an invisibility hero? If there's an area with wards, you will wander into it. While there are enemy heroes about. With their skills all off cooldown.

    =-=-=-

    Playing Ursa? Prepare to be kited.

    =-=-=-

    If there's an enemy with an AoE ultimate such as Ravage or Black Hole, your team will always stick together and all five of you will always get caught. If there's an ally with an AoE ultimate such as Ravage or Black Hole, your enemies will always be so far apart it'll seem as though one of them caught the murder flu.

    =-=-=-

    Your enemy Lanaya with 150 health left will always activate her Refraction that just came off cooldown precisely when your Laguna/Finger finishes its cooldown. But it's too late to stop it.

    The horror.

    =-=-=-

    Your enemy will always have x4 Multicasts ten billion times in a row. You, on the other hand will always have x2 Multicasts around once every ten casts.

    =-=-=-

    Your skillshots will miss by a pixel.

    =-=-=-

    You will always forget about the Techies on the other team.

    =-=-=-

    I spot a Double Damage rune from afar! Run up to it then halt, bemused as the rune vanishes.

    OH SHIT THERE'S AN ENEMY RIKI-

    Asshole McYouMad just pwned PoorMe’s head for AllOfYour gold

    =-=-=-

    You're half a map away from a Regeneration rune which you sorely need as you have 1 health and 2 mana. It's still more preferable to walking alllll the way back to the base anyway. So you troop all the way there only to have an enemy hero take it just before you arrive.

    And then you get sniped by Sunstrike/Flare/Assassinate because there was a ward near where the bloody mess that used to be you were standing.

    =-=-=-

    Your uphill attacks will always miss. Your enemies, on the other hand..

    =-=-=-

    Your most valuable/important member of the team will be a lagger with 1000 ms.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2013
  6. Bodge

    Bodge Well-Known Member

    Every time you try to kill someone you'll fail but will survive and end up with low-hp and the enemy Zeus will always have his Thunder God's Wrath reserved for you.
     
  7. KingMurdoc

    KingMurdoc Well-Known Member

    Sniper will ALWAYS headshot you in mid-cast.
     
  8. serefkana

    serefkana Well-Known Member

    Every time there is a Drow on the enemy team, the most braindead members of your team are the ones feeding laning against her...
     
  9. Mordewolt

    Mordewolt Well-Known Member

    When you stare at the enemy formation waiting for blackholing at least 3 people you always got to scratch your nose.
    After that you see only dead body of your teammate and "report enigma for afk" in all-chat
     
  10. Murie~

    Murie~ Well-Known Member

    In LoL: The enemy's flash is better than your flash
    In DotA: The enemy QoP,AM,Weaver's mobility is far more longer than yours
    -----
    Any hard carry on the enemy team will get farmed no matter what you do, whether get early rosh, push all lanes within 20 mins, you will lose. Meanwhile your hard carry...
     
  11. VaNiLLa_Con~

    VaNiLLa_Con~ Well-Known Member

    You will have at least a wannabe noobs who wants to be pro and pretending to be pro but useless
     
  12. Disaster_Lord

    Disaster_Lord Well-Known Member

    If you buy a courier and upgrade it before the 4 minutes mark, your mid will somehow find a way to feed it to the enemy with his bottle, your tp and your basic boots inside.
     
  13. sayapemula

    sayapemula Well-Known Member

    enemy's smoke of deceit buff is actually dispelled at 800 range
     
  14. KingMurdoc

    KingMurdoc Well-Known Member

    You will always get stunned mid-cast.
     
  15. otomo

    otomo Well-Known Member

    if you're using an illusion hero, enemy lion will always finger the correct hero and not an illusion.
     
  16. Murie~

    Murie~ Well-Known Member

    You will never chase your enemy as Bloodseeker because of the target's allies magically appearing. But when the Bloodseeker is towerdiving you, you always die even with your allies within your range.
     
  17. sayapemula

    sayapemula Well-Known Member

    When you are tower diving the tower will aim you, but when your opponents tower diving, the tower will attack creeps instead
     
  18. Life-Stealer

    Life-Stealer Well-Known Member

    Your neutrals are stronger than the enemies.
     
  19. LostFlip

    LostFlip Well-Known Member

    When you play support, your carries are playing shit. When you play carry, your supports are playing shit.
     
  20. Murie~

    Murie~ Well-Known Member

    The enemies towers are far stronger than your towers early game.